The Cost of B. Michael's Truly Epic Shit



All this fucking around on the Internet is the opportunity cost of doing some truly epic shit.

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GUESTBREAKER: You’re A Philosophy Major
Oh God. Here we go. You’re discussing how we “know what we know and if we truly know it.” Again. You know what? I’ll play your game. Next time you want sex, I’ll tell you your penis doesn’t exist. When you rebut, I’ll go off on a tirade that causes you to have an existential crisis, and then you won’t care about boning anymore. Pick a real major, dude.
A Guest Dealbreaker written by Amanda. (dealbreaker)

Well, Amanda, if you had majored in philosophy, you’d know that this carp is a strawman. Most philosophers don’t take ontological skepticism very seriously, and it’s been pretty easily defeatable since it was invented.

GUESTBREAKER: You’re A Philosophy Major

Oh God. Here we go. You’re discussing how we “know what we know and if we truly know it.” Again. You know what? I’ll play your game. Next time you want sex, I’ll tell you your penis doesn’t exist. When you rebut, I’ll go off on a tirade that causes you to have an existential crisis, and then you won’t care about boning anymore. Pick a real major, dude.

A Guest Dealbreaker written by Amanda. (dealbreaker)

Well, Amanda, if you had majored in philosophy, you’d know that this carp is a strawman. Most philosophers don’t take ontological skepticism very seriously, and it’s been pretty easily defeatable since it was invented.

  1. sheisjustaglitch reblogged this from dealbreaker
  2. marcusjones reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    actually exist? Philosophy is so conflicting
  3. perseids reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    tell me, internet
  4. noherounderstood reblogged this from dealbreaker
  5. inthelostandfound reblogged this from dealbreaker
  6. hyperliterate reblogged this from dealbreaker
  7. sadfaceemote reblogged this from dealbreaker
  8. thebenefitofsight reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    Philosophy majors: thumbs up.
  9. megstrapsgats reblogged this from dealbreaker
  10. pleasedrinkresponsibly reblogged this from dealbreaker
  11. mes-reveries reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    This is from the tumblr blog “Dealbreakers” (Thanks for the link Mandeep!) which is basically a list of dealbreakers in...
  12. gonnaruinyrshoes reblogged this from malloreigh
  13. malloreigh reblogged this from sunsetbreath and added:
    Hello, my name is Malloreigh, and I’m a Philosophy major.
  14. sunsetbreath reblogged this from dealbreaker
  15. damebloodless reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    I first thought this was kind of mean but...remembered every philosophy major I’d ever...
  16. appetitefordeconstruction reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    Harsh. I always thought this was...dealmaker. No wonder…
  17. wonderfinch reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    were absolutely perfect, up until I said “epistomology” and...replied, “Bless you.” I...
  18. fathermocker reblogged this from dealbreaker
  19. northernwind reblogged this from dealbreaker
  20. bananaboattimes reblogged this from dealbreaker
  21. nonsensibility reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    legitimate backup...English. What consolation for the security and stability of my...
  22. mismatchedcons reblogged this from nervousrex and added:
    Holy shit I liked it cause I thought you wrote it. I read it in my Amanda voice in my head and everything. It also said...
  23. nervousrex reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    Holy shit. Did I write this? It sounds exactly like something I would say.
  24. smith01 reblogged this from hegemon
  25. buongiorno reblogged this from bobsaysmeow and added:
    OH HELLLL NO. PHILOSOPHY MAJORS ARE GREAT. GTFO OF LIFE WHOEVER YOU ARE OTHER AMANDA. Also my dealbreaker (though I’m...
  26. brokennecksfeatherweights reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    exist.” Well I beg...differ, there’s some rather attractive philosophy students out...
  27. hegemon reblogged this from presidents
  28. juliola reblogged this from dealbreaker
  29. hello-victo reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    dealbreaker? bonerkiller? BOTH dealbreaker:
  30. dakoybuknoy reblogged this from dealbreaker
  31. bobsaysmeow reblogged this from dealbreaker
  32. gingiringingin reblogged this from presidents
  33. peacenikseekspeacenik reblogged this from champagnecandy
  34. hollerlujah reblogged this from dealbreaker
  35. champagnecandy reblogged this from softculture
  36. presidents reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    LMFAO. I would so date...philo major, though. If...guys know...
  37. heyyouwakeup reblogged this from dealbreaker
  38. antminds reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    My family got in the argument of the century over stating...being a philosopher isn’t
  39. cbrookstyle reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    it. don’t miss those days.
  40. maureenmargaret reblogged this from dealbreaker
  41. elisabethlightly reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    hello, my future.
  42. calleverytruthfalse reblogged this from dealbreaker
  43. quicksandd reblogged this from dealbreaker
  44. mentalpicture reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    Personal Dealbreaker...don’t get what Philosophy is, or strives
  45. monikachaos reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    hahahahahahahahahaha
  46. spacecataz reblogged this from dealbreaker
  47. softculture reblogged this from bmichael and added:
    And talking about Adorno can be more than adequate foreplay.
  48. bmichael reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    had majored in philosophy, you’d know...strawman. Most philosophers don’t take ontological...
  49. ihearthumans reblogged this from dealbreaker
  50. danielledeficiency reblogged this from dealbreaker
  51. irrashunal reblogged this from dealbreaker
  52. emptythoughts reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    my heart. Really, nothing kills my lady boner like hearing you’re...philosophy major....
  53. andeenero reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    AAAAAGH! I JUST DIED. DID I NOT HAVE THIS CONVERSATION AN HOUR AGO!? xoxo andee
  54. nuclearpizza reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    Hahahaha. This is one of the best guestbreakers ever,...so true. My friend Mark is
  55. whitneyj reblogged this from a-eliz and added:
    (a-eliz:kelsium:dealbreaker)
  56. a-eliz reblogged this from kelsium and added:
    IT IS A REAL MAJOR. You just aren’t enlightened enough to know it.
  57. rhapsodyinj reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    Ha! Reblogged for my favorite philosophy major.
  58. holdenbrawlfield reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    philosophy major...THIS ALWAYS HAPPENS OH MY GOD.
  59. dischwasher reblogged this from dealbreaker
  60. vrelevant reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    philospher’s strike? Now who would
  61. indiemaiden reblogged this from dealbreaker and added:
    know what the job opportunities are for philosophy majors? Burger-flippers,...philosophy...
  62. therealestsocksinthegame reblogged this from kelsium
  63. fuckyeahchristineschramm reblogged this from allisonrae
  64. grandeuricillusions reblogged this from kelsium and added:
    Yeah! Like English! Wait…
  65. allisonrae reblogged this from dealbreaker
  66. kelsium reblogged this from dealbreaker
  67. dealbreaker posted this