There was a dumb Weddings and Celebrations “Field Notes” piece this weekend (redundant, I know) about how “a growing collection” of wedding toasts are being rapped or sung and then posted on YouTube.

So I gave the concept a whirl in Altarcations:

It was a clear black night, a big first date
Walter G. was in the sheets, tryna consummate
His skirt for the eve, but she left in a huff
Rollin’ on his side, chillin’ all alone

He hit the East Side up to old Club D
On a mission tryna find Mrs. Walter G.
Seen a group full of girls, pals from Trinity
All those skirts know what up with IBD.

Seriously, if you make me speak at your wedding you are doing so at your peril because that was actually pretty fun. And ideas, I have them. For example, to those of you who like to hack into your significant others’ email — and you know who you are — I’ve got a repurposing of Salt N Pepa called SNOOP that’s got your name all up in it. Consider yourselves warned. Oh and I’ll have the chicken entree, thanks.

(katiebakes)

Are you the author of the Gawker post, the author of the katiebakes Tumblr log, Phyllis Nefler, and a Young Manhattanite contributor? Because that seems like a lot of Noms de Internets. Anyway—I was just thinking of how hilarious this Altarcations was. A + +.