Will it really stop me from smoking even if I’m not getting that nicotine buzz? I mean, what am I going to do with my hands? How will I cure the boredom of standing on line for the bus? What excuse will I use to get away from people at parties? I think this is may wind up offering more problems than actual solutions.

As a recent (recidivist) smoker-quitter, I see those are good questions. I have another question—and maybe it’s semantics—but does anyone over the age of thirteen even get a ‘nicotine buzz?’ Like, that light-headed-from-smoking honest-to-god nicotine buzz you got for the first few cigarettes you smoked? Because for me that shit went the way of acne, hitching rides with the parents, and making out in the front seat trying to get position on the stick shift (if ya know wha’I mean). (Jk on the last one, obvs.—we still do that.)

Any regular smokers get a ‘nicotine buzz’ from smoking cigarettes?