Yeah, I gave GQ twenty-six extra pageviews. Afterward, I’m just like wondering a few things.

This small-minded satire, where does it come from? How’d it slink so cowardly into the world? What minor professional setback or spurned romantic advance did it grow from? Who’s doing this? Who’s writing these things? Robbing us of life and lunch hours? Mocking us with the sight of what we’ve always known? Does our satiric rambling benefit the earth? Does it help the grass to grow and Tumblr to stay online? Is this pettiness in you too? Have you read this stupid list?