So yesterday when everyone was being outraged/annoyed with Gwyneth Paltrow, I kept waiting for this thing I wrote about her (last week) to go up. It didn’t go up until much later. So now you “all” can mock it and tell it how it’s wrong and stuff today if you want more things to do that about.

Note: I was browsing the dash and wondered to myself, literally, “I should figure out what’s this we’re talking about with the white guy anger thing going on today” and then I was like, “What?! Why would I want to do that.”

Here’s a representative passage I wrote about Paltrow FWIWIEWIW:

There’s a curious amount of hatred toward Paltrow on the Internet, and it seems like piling on her new recording project is going to be part of it. To use an overused phrase, her reported six-figure recording deal is a tipping point. It’s like hearing that Bill Gates has won the Powerball lottery. It shatters one’s credulity.

Ironically, the types of sites that criticize Paltrow are wry, canny proprietors of urban life—they cater to the type of people who may enjoy shopping at Whole Foods, giving their kids funny names, and doing yoga. She may be the A-Rod of the lifestyle world, but we’re all struggling in Triple-A ball, trying to get called up to the Big Show.