“Have an underwhelming Internet presence. “Like” things on Facebook like Minute Maid and Triscuit because you genuinely like the products. See no problem with advertising that online. Make status updates like, “Beautiful day out today…Gonna run to Home Depot to look at tile!” Ot worse, post things about 20% off coupons at places like Macaroni Grill. Have friends post inside jokes on your wall about S’mores.”
Ryan O’Connell, ‘How To Be Boring’
How to be interesting:
- Complain about the NYT paywall; refuse to pay for anything online.
- Go to the computer lab and print blog comments. Staple them to a telephone pole.
- “Like” things on Facebook ironically.
- “Like” my blog’s fan page.
- Have an overwhelming Internet presence. Use animated gifs of flames on your website.
- Think about your Internet presence.
- Don’t eat Triscuits. Fuck Triscuits.
- Never buy a house. Don’t learn how to fix things.
- Make sure you don’t even know how to use a hammer or screwdriver.
- Pay full price at Macaroni Grill.
- Don’t make any friends; certainly not ones you have inside jokes with.
- Fuck s’mores.
