“I’m not hesitant to say that the women’s rights movement is probably the biggest hindrance to fulfilling my life goals of eating Vicodin and neglecting small children. I don’t want to be equal to men. People aren’t equal. It’s unfair to force humanity into a social situation where we’re forced to falsely recognize each other as homogeneously equal. It negates the fact that women and men are indeed different and should respect each other for and despite these differences. People are different, but we need each other in order to create equilibrium and function in the world. Feminism is also making it difficult for me to manipulate men with sex. This is a big problem, because I’m extremely lazy.”