Topless stripper piñatas in Texas caused outrage from passers by, but were redeemed by their timeless lesson: If you beat a woman with a stick, condoms and liquor fall out. Jacksonville police officers really needed to reach their traffic ticket quota for the month; they tackled and handcuffed a woman in labor in the ER to which they chased her. Louisiana wanted to guilt-trip women out of having abortions; it contented itself by joining 15 other states in simply lecturing them.