“Furthermore, if you knew anything about Eminem’s personal life from witness acccounts you would know that Kim was the physical abuser for many many years (and Eminem was afraid of her). Until he started playing the part as well, many times the fights would end in sex. That’s what the song is about if you listen. They were both abusers. If you watch the video, the girl hits first. Em and Kim fought like brother and sister.”
This comment on Doyle’s Eminem piece is, like, really strangely funny to me. First, Eminem’s self-proclaimed domestic abuse problems become this black swan type thing where the woman was actually the abuser so—twist, I guess? I think, then, the commenter means to say “When” rather than “Until.”1 In any case, the fights led to sex. OK. It’s what the song is about? Ok. The girl hits first? Well, whatever. I guess I understand you’d want to beat the shit out of someone who’s ostensibly weaker than you because they violated this weird, As Seen On TV2 pseudo-moral code that’s permissive of rendering inviolable, asymmetric force when presented with the slightest provocation. Of course not to downplay any type of domestic violence, but come on man. Be real.
Anyway, the best part of the comment is how it then offers that Eminem and Kim fought like brother and sister. Just a few lines after saying how the fighting leads to the sex because listen to the song. Yeah.
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Unless the commenter means that the general mode of Kim’s fighting is by means of sex, which, I guess also makes sense. ↩
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Like the thing about cops only being able to shoot you if you fire first, which I mean I don’t even know why this is used as a plot device on TV shows and in film because it is so patently retarded and at odds with reality. I can understand maybe why they’d want to portray a telephone trace as taking sixty seconds (“Keep him on the line! Just a few seconds longer! DAMN! He hung up before the triangulation software got him.”)—We Know Drama, etc. But the cops shooting first thing is such pablum that makes forces you to emote for, I don’t know, kind of nihilistic blank-minded grape ape assholes. Oooh, look. We’re so noble because we can’t shoot first. You know who shoots first? The criminals!. Fuck. You! Fuck you! When I’m watching an entertainment and I see a standoff situation where the cop has a gun drawn on a perp who also has a gun drawn on him or the cop doesn’t shoot the perp when it’s clear the perp is going to try to kill the cop or whatever—well, I get very upset. Your drama’s not gritty. You might as well have the Michelin Man or Ronald McDonald as your protagonist, because that’s how seriously I take him to be. ↩
